Why Is It So Hard to Find a Male Therapist?

Published February 10, 2023

It's all too common of an occurrence with the overwhelming demand for mental health treatment: A woman, unable to find a male psychotherapist for her husband, left me a concerned voicemail inquiring about my availability.

When I finally connected with her spouse directly, it turned out that, much like me, his boyhood had centered around physical competition and the resulting friendships that he'd made. He spent his teenage and young adult years absorbing tackles and relishing in camaraderie as he assembled and disassembled his armor in locker rooms. But in doing so, he'd also buried vibrant parts of himself that were difficult to put into words.

Although this particular version of masculinity may seem like an overgeneralization, countless, diverse variations of my patient exist — humans hungry for deeper self-exploration but waiting for the right conditions to begin.

A commonly cited reason for ending treatment among men is the "lack of connection or understanding with their therapist." Men are less likely to seek therapy and drop out sooner, hindering the effectiveness of treatment. Men may be more likely to consider and then enter treatment if they believe that they belong, and part of that may mean perceiving that a practitioner has also traversed boyhood's treacherous terrains.

As one of the only men during much of my doctoral training, I often felt like a reluctant ambassador for nearly half of the human population, and it was alienating. It was meaningful to have a male therapist of my own.